I didn’t know if I would ever be a mom. As a little girl, you don’t think of complications, diagnosis, or reasons why you wouldn’t ever trade in your baby doll for an actual baby of your own someday. This is so many women’s story; it’s also a part of my story.

After marrying my dream guy in 2015, like most couples we talked timeline of when we wanted to start a family. Before we even got to our timeline checkpoint, a routine doctor visit left me processing new information that would limit our chances of a healthy pregnancy. Each year after with second opinions following that visit, more reports came in sucking the wind out of my sails. Thus began the inner narrative of convincing myself it just wasn’t what God had for us.

After years of suppressing the desire to start a family, I had yet another routine doctor visit expecting to hear the same news. Only this time was different. I was going into this visit with a word from God- something I hadn’t told anyone, I just held onto it and started to let myself believe if God said I would have a baby, it must start with this doctor’s appointment. Tests were run, scans and images of all kinds were done, and a week of waiting for results had to be endured. I’ll never forget that week, how much I prayed, and how much I cried. I was so tired of something being wrong with me.

“I will not fear bad news. My heart is steadfast trusting in the Lord.”

Psalm 112:7

Seven years, almost to the day, for the first time I was told by a doctor nothing was wrong with me and if I wanted to start a family I could. WHAT! Talk about a plot twist, a curve ball, a flip of the script! We couldn’t believe that this thing we told ourselves we no longer wanted could actually be a reality. Was I healed? Were all those reports a fluke? Were the doctors mixing up my results? In my heart of hearts I believed I was healed. Now, it was time for my heart to open up again. I didn’t have to be scared to believe for a baby. God spoke. Doctors confirmed. It was time to believe again.

A few months later, a positive pregnancy test, and all the fun pregnancy symptoms later, we’re preparing to welcome a baby boy into the world. Only God.
Only God can do miracles.
Only God can open up a heart again.
Only God can revive a dead desire.
Only God can trump seven years of doctor’s reports.
Only God can sustain you in the waiting.

I never thought I’d be a mom. This baby is a miracle- I can’t think of him without recalling what the Lord did through all of this and what I’m still seeing Him do. This baby is already bringing God glory.

This isn’t the first miracle God has done in my life, and I know it won’t be the last. God is good, His timing can be trusted, and He sustains you like no other. If God hasn’t told you to lay down a desire or dream, don’t forfeit your promise by laying it down prematurely. God speaks clearly. He never told me to stop believing, but fear did. Fear can be profoundly convincing. Faith gets its power from Heaven so it will look a little different and feel a little different than you may be used to. Something I’ve grown to look forward to is when God does something special in my life, I can’t wait to talk about it with others so they see God more clearly, trust God a little more, experience Him in a different way… it’s honestly not about me. It brings me immense joy that people will be pointed to God through this baby boy’s life.

“No one who trusts in You will ever be put to shame…”

Psalm 25:1

What are you believing for? Keep it in hand and heart. The journey from believing for the promise to walking in the promise has opened up my heart more than I could imagine. That my friend is how you can find joy in the journey as you believe for your promise. Allow a gentle and loving God to open up your heart along the way as He leads you to walk in the promises He has for you. Nothing is wasted.

Maybe it’s time for you to believe again. If you’re not ready to believe in the promise just yet, start with the promise-giver and promise-keeper. He won’t let you down. Your miracle could be in the making.

Love & Prayers,
Haley