The more we isolate ourselves, the harder it is to get back in community. In my experience, when you live a full life, isolation can be disguised as rest, yet it doesn’t deliver what you hoped. Living in isolation during the parts of your schedule you can control doesn’t leave you with much at all to show for your “time of rest.” Most of the time we still feel exhausted after a night on the couch, watching tv, playing on our phones, or doing little things around the house. Interestingly enough, it’s when we get around good and godly people we can laugh with, let our guards down or even just lower them that we receive this inner fulfillment and rest.

My favorite benefit of living in community is that before I even know it, my brain has been “turned off!” WHAT! It seriously surprises me every time. Give me more of that! If your job or main role in life requires an enormous amount of mental, emotional, and even spiritual tenacity like mine does, what has served me best is spending time where I don’t have to be responsible for a deadline or project but can instead relax, make jokes, goof off a little, and talk about non-serious things that don’t require a life-altering decision. Hear me on this, an evening with other people where your biggest decision is to have seconds or to save room for dessert is an evening well spent.

Now, let me tell you how I, an introvert and recovering control-freak arrived at this epiphany. I used to think if I worked a long work-week and was around people at my job that 1. that was community (not really) and 2. the only thing I needed was a night on the couch alone or with my husband so I could “rest.” There is NOTHING wrong with a night on the couch. Solitude is a good thing. I thoroughly enjoy a bubble bath and movie of my choice. Solitude is definitely needed sometimes. But… if closing off the world around us is our go-to, our every weekend or every chance we get remedy to achieve rest, we have got it way wrong. That’s isolation, and it’s unhealthy. That’s not living. That is existing. I lived there for a few years. Until one day, it dawned on me that I couldn’t reach people that way nor was I going to grow as a person staying to myself all the time.

Have you ever felt the joy and satisfaction leaving a party or gathering? Maybe you are socially spent, (totally understand that!) but you’re still laughing about something someone said or how great it was to catch up with so-and-so. Community is good and good for your health. Isolation can negatively affect your mood, thought-life, and even decisions if it’s your main state of living.

Honest moment: transitioning from living in isolation to community was challenging. Maybe you know what I mean… I believed if I gave up the one night of the weekend I had free to hang out with people, then I would be tired for the next week, then I would be sad because I felt like I had no control anymore, then I started to even think negatively about the people we were going to hang out with because it was their fault I was tired. YIKES! How twisted is that?! Now, you are probably not even close to that extreme. You get the point I’m trying to make though, isolation held me hostage.

After a few times of choosing people over isolation, and the right people I might add, I was actually a happier person and experienced really great emotional and mental benefits. I began to crave community. My world felt bigger. <— Major unexpected blessing! I felt like I was a part of other people’s stories and special moments. My heart that had been closed off due to so much time being spent in isolation began to soften and care deeply for those I surrounded myself with now and knew I was cared for in return.

Living in community is good and good for your soul. We are all on our own journeys, so taking a step towards community could look different for you. Maybe, you step out and host a game night with other friends or couples. Maybe, instead of darting for the door when church is over you hang out for a bit in the lobby and make lunch plans. Just take a step. Whether you are considering trying this out or taking up an invite you received months ago, you’ve got what it takes to live in community and be grateful that you do.